What To Do When Your Foster Child Steals Something From You

Foster children steal things for a variety of reasons. If they were deprived of nice things in the past, they may think stealing is an appropriate way to get valuable items. They also may be acting out, and testing their boundaries. The best way to handle this situation is by staying calm and talking it out. Vocalizing problems can open up opportunities for your child to bring up any issues they my have.

Ask them why they took the item: And then listen to their explanation. Maybe they really liked it, and wanted one for themselves. Maybe they didn't want you to have it because they were mad. Maybe they wanted to sell it because they don't have any money. Don't judge their reasoning. Just listen.

Ask them what they like about it: Ask them why they chose the item they did. What did they like about that item? Was it cool? Was it something they thought was worth a lot of money? Was it something that meant a lot to you? Once again- listen. Don't interrupt or lecture quite yet.

Explain how they can acquire one of their own (or if they sold it- how to get money): Now, prior to lecturing, explain to your child how they can get their own item. If it was a piece of jewelry- they could make one. And you'd like to get the supplies to! If it was something of yours they didn't want you to have- explain that physical things don't mean anything to you. Things like laughter and love mean more- and they can't take those things away (they only give those things to you!). If they sold it, explain how they can do chores for money. Or they can work together to save up money for the item they want to have.

Now You Can Lecture: NOW after all of those things, you can lecture your child on why stealing is not okay. It hurts peoples feelings. It breaks trust. It is not very nice. And there are other ways they can get the item they wanted- they don't need to steal.

Talk about how they can come to you when they need/want something: If your child feels as though they need money or a certain item- let them know that they can always come to you. And even if you may not be able to afford it right now, you both can work out a budget to save for the item so it can be bought in the future. You're not here to deprive your child of good things- and you want them to have things they want! Sometimes those things need to be earned- and stealing will not achieve that goal. So let them know you will work with them to get the things they want. You want them to have nice things too!

Teen Foster Child Welcome Basket Ideas

I create welcome baskets for each kid that comes in my home. I have them ready ahead of time to give them on their first day. I'll usually leave them on their bed and let them know that they can look through it at their leisure- and that everything inside is theirs and only theirs. It's basically filled with a collection of 'necessity items'. This post is dedicated to welcome baskets specifically for teens.

My teen girls basket includes:
Girly scented shampoo, conditioner, and soap
Female shaving cream and a set of razors
Girls' deoderant
A set of hair ties, bobby pins, and headbands
A new hair comb and brush
Nail clippers, a nail file, and tweezers
A box of tampons and pads
A pack of gum
A bottle of perfume
A new bath towel and wash cloth
Tooth brush and tooth paste
Prepaid cellphone and $10 phone card

My teen boys basket includes:
Guy brand shampoo, conditioner, and soap
Male shaving cream and a set of razors
Guy's deoderant
A new hair comb and brush
A pack of gum
A bottle of cologne
A new bath towel and wash cloth
A wallet
Tooth brush and tooth paste
Prepaid cellphone and $10 phone card

New Foster Child Check-List (What You'll Need To Buy In The First Week)

I created this list basically to give foster parents an idea of the investments they may need to make within the first week of a child coming into their home. This list basically covers the necessities, this such as clothes and school supplies. Depending on the age group, other things may also need bought (shaving cream, razors, feminine products, and deodorant for teens). But this list is a basic cover-all for kids ages 3 and up. The basic necessities you'll need to go shopping for within the first few days your child is in your home.

-Underwear (possibly bras)
-Shorts/ Skirts

Winter Wear (depending on your environment)
-Snow Pants
-Mittens/ Gloves

School Supplies
-Notebooks, Folders, Paper
-Pencils, Pens, Highlighters or Markers
-Gym Clothes

If you're looking for a list of things to buy prior to having a child placed in your home, read my Beginning Foster Child Check-List.

June Foster Parent Bucket List

Send The Birth Dad A Father's Day Gift: Don't forget the birth dad on Father's Day. Let your child pick out a gift, a card, (and wrap them on their own) for their dad. If you don't have visitation rights to see the father, mail the gift to them. It's a great way to show him their child still cares- while also letting your child openly discuss their father in a positive light.

Visit A Local Zoo: Zoos are so much fun! For kids they can be HUGE memories and extremely educational. Make a point to bring your child to a zoo this month. There are so many valuable discoveries that can be made there!

Visit A Local Pool or Water Park: When the weather gets hot, let your child cool off by participating in a popular summer tradition of going to a local pool or water park. Not only is it a great way for your kid to wear off some energy, it's an awesome way to just have genuine fun.

Take Swimming Lessons: During the summer many places open up swimming lessons for kids. Having your child attend swimming lessons is a great way to promote water safety, confidence, and independence in your kid. You can also teach your child to swim, yourself! Which is a great way to bond over learning a new activity together.

Attend A Baseball or Softball Game: Whether it's a little league game or a professional show-down, baseball and softball games are an American summertime tradition. They're a great way to spend an evening, and if you have a little sports star of your own- they can be very memorable.